Parenting Month 85: Competition

A fun milestone was a recent taekwondo tournament.  This was T's first competitive tournament (i.e. where they actually award places)  He recently moved up a group in the ATA system of classes (the lowest age group was 4-6) so now they award 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place in the 7-8 year old category.  And he won first place in forms and first place weapons. (his ring was 9 boys, red belts (the level below black), non-leadership (leadership students are the ones who compete for points over the year))




So, his strengths are keeping focus (he had the option of doing only half the form, and most kids his age do, but he did the whole thing) and his punches, kicks, and blocks actually have some strength to them (often kids will have the right starting and right ending point, while the middle is a bit flabby).

Jaang baang form (staff)

One thing I noticed was that parents are actually getting competitive at this point.  One parent was telling me how her son was really into the tournaments for several years now. (son got 2nd in forms and weapons).  Another had traveled from Ohio and this was also her son's first competitive tournament (same reason as T). Some of the boys did not react well to loosing in the sparring (T did not get all of the medals).  We did note that T does not take the sparring very competitively.  He was doing sparring like his school does testing (where part of the goal is for both participants to show off) as opposed to point sparring where you really do need to hit each other.  I found that quite amusing once I figured out what was going on.

two first place medals

The more competitive environment is definitely showing up in school.  We can tell that in his more diverse school (compared to last year), there are definitely families that are much more academically focused than we are.  We are hearing stories of T's peers doing the after school tutoring programs, the multiple after school enrichment activities, and drilling in school work. I think we are keenly aware that there are tests and evaluations that will have significance in his school experience and opportunities that will occur this year. We won't completely ignore it (we do drill him on the homework he gets), but we want to limit the organized activities if there are enough interests that keep him engaged (so he is stretching, even if it is not directly pointed at school work type things)

A is still quite verbal. And as proper for a 3-year old, without a filter. Sometimes it is very cute and amusing, if semi-horrifying (last night she spoke out during a poor music student's tuba recital, saying quite clearly at one point "what is that noise)).  One minor milestone: she is now willing to sleep with daddy vs. with mommy, so giving mommy a break. (T was always flexible on who was with him.)

Challenges on the horizon: T is more aware now of how other kids compare, and there are more examples of those not as talented than more talented. So he is not as inclined to persist and stay focused on things as he used to be. Similarly, he is more aware of material things and short term rewards; and the carrot of being able to do things and have experiences that other do not do are not as attractive as they used to be.