Parenting Month 66: Compare and contrast

Walking together on a trail

The little one is about to turn two. While children, much like runners, are experiments of one, it is somewhat inevitable to compare two children. In the discussion of nature vs. nurture, it is tempting to wonder what the differences are due to nature, under the assumption that since the parents are the same, the nurture part of the equation should be the same. 

This is in some ways a very unfair comparison. The older one was a nearly ideal (to parents) toddler. We joked that he was practically an advertisement for having kids (as two people who were not given to sentimentality about children). And frankly, when we take the two kids out in public, they still give the appearance of being ideal children (being alert and engaged in the public, but under control and well mannered. Following the middle path avoiding both being stone faced zombies and out of control monsters.) 

Some notes and obvious comparisons as the youngest finishes her second year of life:

1.  She is very verbal.  At this point, T was not talking much, and certainly not too strangers.  A also is reserved in her attention, but is otherwise well engaged in the world in the presence of others. She is certainly braver; curiosity leads her to exploring her world, touching things, petting dogs.  And she is much more expressive. The expressiveness has a cost to the caregivers.  She can express her will and desires and be defiant in english and chinese.  She has also shown signs of understanding both english and chinese grammar (she can construct grammatically and contextually correct sentences in combinations that are new to her.)
2. Songs. The knows quite a number of songs, both english and chinese.  Similarly to many toddlers, most of these songs she learned off of YouTube and such (nursery rhymes, Sesame Street). Also conventionally, she knows the ends of words and phrases before she learns the beginnings (because of rhyming).
3. Reading.  She knows her letters and numbers. But, unlike T, she has not gotten to the point where she can recite entire books. She can point to and identify things within the book. But does not have the same desire that T did (at this point, T had several board books memorized and could improvise following the pattern of a few of them)
4. Expressive.  Like other toddlers, she dances, expresses happiness, and unhappiness. She can also engage in toddler speak for extended periods of time. This follows naturally from the period where she was babbling for extended periods of time. To her it is probably the same, but to us, we can understand what it is she is saying. She also gets the language correct. (Chinese exclusively for grandparents, mostly english for daddy, switches back and forth for mommy and gege.)
5. Focus. Well, A has a typical toddler focus, meaning her current mood lasts about 15 minutes. This shows in many places. The more conventional view towards books (she does not mind being read to, but does not enjoy nearly to the same extent T did), nothing keeps her attention for very long, 
6. Daring.  A is more confident in doing pretty much anything. So she does the standard toddler activities such as scribbling (which is a precursor to drawing), climbing and jumping off of any surface she can access, playing with toys and blocks (much faster than T was). She is also more willing to work her will in crowds, claiming and defending her space in play areas, not afraid to be part of the rough and tumble of toddler play.

A is a different child than what T was. And our parenting is different. The most obvious differences day to day are focus (T) vs will (A).   One thing different that was not as intentional was weekly outings. By this point, daddy was regularly taking T out to museums, parks, etc. on Saturday mornings. While A sometimes joins in, even now, it is mostly only two of us. While T appreciated it more at this age (because he could focus on one thing at a time), when A does come, she enjoys it (although more of generally being out of the house than anything else)

Some notes on T this month.

1. He gets many complements on being well mannered. Both when we are out and about (e.g. restaurants and museums) and in more standard settings. (his teacher commented about how he said thank you for helping him clean when he spilled his lunch tray on the floor, instead of taking it for granted. He also says please and thank you to waitresses, opens and holds doors for others (this is very cute, because he barely has the mass to be able to do this)
2. He is continuing to make shy kids comfortable. We have gotten reports from other kids parents at taekwondo, saying their shy kids like being paired up with T. 
3. An extension of 2, this month T started getting notes from a girl in his class, who is one of the quiet ones. 
4. Still working on freezing in public. We have had occurrences of freezing when it is time to play piano in a group. On the other hand, he participated in a taekwondo tournament with no problem.  This is still a work in progress.
5. T is getting more rebellious, but at this point a big part of it is trying on roles.  He copies his little sister (ironic) in being defiant (trying to get attention?). He also picks up on things at school, videos, we also caught him trying out lines that originated from the school play.

Simple 2x4 step stool

It has been a while since I posted a project.  And reality is that the winter months are not conducive to woodworking when your shop is either the backyard, driveway, or garage.  And work and life have a way of getting in the way. (ok, and some of my hobby time has been taken by a new hobby, I remember telling someone a year ago that I did not have any room for one of those.)  So, here is one of the easiest things in the world, a step stool made from 2x4.

2x4 step stool diagram

What brought this on is that a step stool made by my father-in-law collapsed while we were dealing with a tantrum.  While the shock of the collapse did end the tantrum, we now did not have a step stool for the kids in the upstairs bathroom (which is needed so they can use the sink on their own).  And, to be honest, I had a few purchases over the past few months that needed a workout.

I used a design described in the blog MoreLikeHome.Net that built a stool from a single 2x4 (I think that I've seen this design in response to a contest of what can you make from a single 8' 2x4).  So, went to our favorite Home Depot to get a 2x4 while my son was at a birthday party not too far away.

A 2x4 full of potential. Yes, the iPad stand is made from LEGO. My folding workbench was project I made just before my daughter was born.

First step, cutting down the 2x4. I had the Home Depot do one cut at 37" (which represents 3 12" steps with a little more to account for the kerf. This also made two pieces small enough to transport in my car.)  Further cuts were made with a 4 1/4" circular saw and a speed square. (A framing square was large enough to measure the cuts and a utility knife was used to mark the wood. Wood was supported by bench cookies, which meant that I did not need clamps for cutting.)

2x4 pieces cut by compact circular saw

Next was sanding all the pieces down.  I have a Ridgid Jobmax multi-tool, and over the winter I bought the Fein Multimaster 4" sanding disc attachment. It is a lot larger than the detail sanding pad that usually comes with an oscillating multi-tool and delays the need for a palm sander. (and doing this by hand takes way too long :-)  )  I sanded everything down using 60 grit paper, with the plan to leave the final sanding for after the project was complete.

Next was assembly.  I used the Kreg pocket hole system (another winter purchase) and 2 1/2" pocket screws (because I was working with 2x dimensional lumber. Note to self: Kreg was delivered with 1 1/2" screws that are meant for 3/4" boards) I used my Quick Grip clamps on the flat part of the Kreg R3 (jr).  My first time using pocket holes. I am a believer.

Kreg R3 Jig with Irwin Quick Grip clamp

Next step: assembling the step stool. I used a corded Jobmax with the right angle drill head to drive in the pocket hole screws. One issue with the right angle head compared to standard pistol grips is that it is harder to control the torque, so my first leg did not go on straight.  Instead of taking the whole thing apart, after I assembled the legs, I put a wood blade on the multi-tool and cut off any overhang and cut down the back stretcher to size.

Finally, I put in fillers into the pocket holes and sanded the whole thing down with the new sanding disc.  I actually did this right and worked my way through three grades of sanding pads. This does make a difference, as the stool is noticeably smoother to the touch than my previous projects using dimensional lumber.

Fein 4" sanding disc attached to Ridgid Jobmax multitool

A nice quick project. I did not stain it yet (waiting for the weather to warm up). But now that it is in use, I'm thinking about if I will stain it at all.  Certainly the kids like it (it is a lot more stable than what was there before.)

2x4 step stool in action

Some notes:

1. Tools used
1. Rockwell 4 1/2" Compact Circular Saw
2. Ridgid Jobmax Corded Multi-tool
1. Right angle drill head
2. Fein Sanding Disc attachment
3. Kreg Jig Jr (R3)
4. Framing square
5. Speed square
6. Bench cookies
7. CRKT SpareTool (for marking wood)
2. My  Folding worktable is getting a good workout. Maybe not as good a a full sized workbench, but much better than any purchased metal and plastic table would be.
3. The advantage of having the multitool with wood saw blades, I can cut away any evidence of mistakes.
4. Pocket hole fillers cannot be cut using a multitool saw. Either I sand it or cut it before it is in place. Maybe if I glue in the fillers and wait for the glue to set, it may be amenable to a saw.
5. I like pocket holes. Much nicer to not have screws showing on outside surfaces.
6. Mommy noted that the first step is not that deep (made from a single 2x4). But since it is only used to get to the second step, it is probably ok.
7. Circular saws are a lot faster and more precise than jig saws at going through 2x4. I think a lot of my older projects would have been faster with it. I suppose that the jigsaw was useful as a first power saw with out of nervousness, but I would tell any beginner to start with a compact circular saw that can cut through a 2x4.